This article was originally published in the October print edition of The Bark, distributed at the University of Minnesota Duluth campus.

“The fear of missing out can lead you to miss out on something even greater: the life you truly desire.” — Aili Kuutan from the Pure Light Podcast

The Oxford definition of FOMO — fear of missing out — is “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.”

Articles upon articles have been done on this particular topic, and they all agree on one thing: FOMO triggers anxiety, depression, compulsive behaviors, and it heavily impacts Gen Z in a negative way.

Dr. Aaron Boyson holds that belief as well. He is an associate professor and the Head of the Communications Department at the University of Minnesota Duluth. Dr. Boyson studies the social and psychological effects of media exposure in kids, specifically media addiction due to its widespread growth in the past few decades.

“FOMO is a concept that has emerged in scientific literature,” Boyson said. “What started as an expression amongst young people to express how they feel when they’re not connected has quickly become a scientific construct.”

FOMO affects Gen Z negatively, according to Boyson. Nowadays, there’s an influence of constant connection and an overuse of media. Our overuse of social media has grown exponentially in the past few decades, and it is Boyson’s belief that there is no way a population has had appropriate time to adapt to that reality, and not just accommodate. Boyson’s research suggests that we, as a society, are not adapting well.

“That ‘fear of missing out’ is the reason why we can’t be without our phones and the reason why we don’t want to drop our social media apps — because how would we know what’s going on?” he said.

Social media is our main way of getting information. Finding out where a party is, the opinions and beliefs of other people, what is happening around the world and how others are reacting to it. That fear of missing out on information, connection, communities, causes us to be consistently on our phones and away from the environment around us.

“FOMO is perfectly tied to social media, whether it’s your phone or something that existed before that,” Boyson said. “It is impossible nowadays for young people to get away from information that causes a fear of missing out.”

This feeling has existed for decades, long before phones. However, Boyson added that although he wondered what other people were doing as a kid, the quantity and quality of those feelings were different. It never caused him a level of concern or mental health issues.

“Social media works against the well-being of kids. They don’t just have to overcome their own thoughts anymore, they have to overcome societal issues,” he said.

As a society, we need to catch up on new information and update ourselves frequently on new events and new topics of discussion. It’s a desire we all have, but is that more important than staying connected to the present — to the world and environment around us?

Boyson remarked that in tribal and pastoral societies, they spent about twenty-four hours a week just talking to people and making connections. Today, the typical person spends four hours a week talking with people face-to-face. Boyson’s advice is that we need to spend less time connecting with people online and more time connecting in-person. Then, FOMO will be less of an issue.

“Your generation will hang out with people, but their socialization skills have atrophied. They don’t know how to talk with people,” Boyson said. “Social anxiety is a huge problem now — young kids will talk to people, it won’t go well because they haven’t practiced, and they will retreat further into their shell.”

Boyson’s conclusion is that the psychology of connection has gone “completely off the rails,” and as a society it will be extremely difficult to overcome.

“We are in an age now where we are expecting more of technology and less of each other. We’ve exchanged relatedness for connection, and we were foolish enough to think that they were the same thing. And now we have to juggle with the aftermath,” he said.

There are a few articles that suggest different ways to get over that feeling of missing out, or at least some advice on dealing with feelings social media gives us:

The Calm Blog — an app that aids in meditation and peaceful mindsets — recommends taking social media breaks, practicing mindfulness and meditation, starting a gratitude practice, setting realistic expectations for yourself, connecting with others in real life, and reflecting on your achievements and joys.

It is very difficult to be a content person when social media is constantly dragging us down different rabbit holes and things to be concerned about. Now, more than ever, we need to find joy within ourselves rather than letting external factors affect the way we act and view ourselves.