National Coming Out Day and the life saving importance of living in truth

Courtesy of Karli Kruse

October 11th, 2019 will mark the 31st edition of National Coming Out Day (NCOD). Started in 1988, the day was set to mark the anniversary of the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights in 1987.

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC), an organization that focuses on support for issues surrounding unfairly treated communities, discusses the day in depth on their site.

“Recognizing that the LGBTQ community often reacted defensively to anti-LGBTQ actions,” HRC explains, “they came up with the idea of a national day to celebrate coming out and chose the anniversary of that second march on Washington to mark it.”

Coming out is life changing, life saving, and life defining. I did not fully appreciate how much I hated living a lie until I actually stopped and lived as my true self. In a way I didn’t allow myself to accept that I wasn’t a hetero-sexual person until I finally told someone I wasn’t. 

I can remember each of the first few people I told, sample size versions of coming out spread across my senior year of high school to see if it was worth it. I remember them better than most of that year.

It would be well over a year before I went about any proper public coming out. The day I finally did was inspired by the arrival of 2016’s National Coming Out Day. A few social media posts later and my life felt deeply changed. 

I had never planned on being bisexual would become the central aspect of my life or personality, and I’d say it’s not, but not having to worry about who knew about it was like suddenly learning a life-defining responsibility had been lifted from my shoulders.

Coming out isn't just important for members of the LGBTQ+ community that fit expectations of what a person from there should be like. Coming out isn't just important for members of the LGBTQ+ community that center their lives and careers around being gay,trans, or bi.

Coming out is important for everyone that doesn’t want to live under a facade.

Coming out to my friends, and eventually my peers, lifted me out of a fog that didn’t just interrupt my social or romantic life. Coming out made me a better student, writer, and employee.

Many may think the theatrical nature of announcing sexuality or identity may be outdated in a modern world where such things are more accepted than they’ve been in the history of this country, but the majesty of the 21st century didn’t dampen the importance of mine in 2016. 

Support your friends when they take the great leap of faith. If someone comes to you in a mini-come out, respect that moment and make sure to not spread the news before they’re ready.
In a perfect world, people wouldn’t need this support. In a perfect world there wouldn’t be thousands of years of dark history that make coming out such a major event. This isn’t a perfect world, but this National Coming Out Day you can make it a little bit better. Be there for your friends and family. Be there for every person that needs a little help in a big moment.